Donald Trump's Last Ditch Effort: Selling "God Bless the USA" Bibles for $60

In a move that can only be described as quintessentially Trumpian, former President Donald Trump is making headlines once again with his latest venture: selling "God Bless the USA" Bibles for a whopping $60. Yes, you read that right – $60 for a Bible endorsed by the man himself. But before you reach for your wallet, let's take a closer look at this curious endeavour...

Trump, who seems to have a knack for staying in the limelight, took to his Truth Social platform to announce his partnership with country singer Lee Greenwood in promoting these special edition Bibles. Because nothing says "Make America Great Again" quite like selling pricey Bibles, right?

In his characteristic style, Trump urged his followers to "Make America Pray Again" and to get their hands on a copy of the God Bless the USA Bible. Because apparently, the key to solving all of America's problems lies within the pages of a $60 Bible embossed with the words "Holy Bible" and "God Bless the USA," along with a design inspired by the American flag.

But fear not, dear reader, for this endeavour is not about politics – at least according to the website selling the Bibles. In a hilarious attempt to distance themselves from any political affiliation, the website assures potential buyers that none of the money from the sale of these Bibles will go towards Trump's presidential campaign. Because nothing says "non-political" like plastering Trump's face on the cover of a Bible, right?

And let's not forget the important question on everyone's mind: Is Donald Trump really the best spokesperson for the Bible? After all, this is the same man who famously struggled to quote a single Bible verse during his presidency and once referred to "Two Corinthians" instead of "Second Corinthians." But hey, who needs biblical knowledge when you have a golden opportunity to make a quick buck?

In a stroke of comedic genius, Gregory Minchak of the anti-Trump Lincoln Project hit the nail on the head when he quipped, "There's not a cross nor a picture of Jesus on the page, but plenty of photos of Trump. Who do you think this $60 Bible is for? It sure isn't for Jesus."

But let's be real for a moment – behind the laughter and absurdity lies a more sobering reality. With looming bankruptcy and impending legal troubles, it seems that Trump's latest venture is less about spreading the word of God and more about padding his dwindling fortune. Because when all else fails, why not try to cash in on religion?

So, if you're in the market for a Bible endorsed by a thrice-married, legally adjudicated rapist and billionaire New York property magnate, look no further. For the low, low price of $60, you too can own a piece of Trump memorabilia that's sure to leave you scratching your head and wondering, "What would Jesus do?"

While Trump's latest business venture may elicit a chuckle or two, it also serves as a stark reminder of the absurdity of our times. But hey, at least we can take solace in the fact that comedy truly is the best medicine – even in the face of impending bankruptcy and jail time.

So, to all the patriotic, prayerful, and right-wing Americans out there, I leave you with this: God bless the USA, and may we all pray for a brighter, and hopefully less bizarre, future.

In the grand scheme of things, Trump's attempt to hawk special edition Bibles may seem like just another chapter in the saga of his larger-than-life personality. But beneath the laughter and the absurdity lies a more sobering reality: the desperation of a man facing financial ruin and legal trouble. So, as we chuckle at the sheer audacity of it all, let's also take a moment to reflect on the strange times we live in – and perhaps say a prayer for a future that's a little less surreal.